You Were: The Libertine

September 15, 2010

After several lifetimes of poverty and misery, you were born to an aristocratic family in Ireland. On your twenty-first birthday, you inherited an impressive title and a mind-blowing fortune. That very evening, surrounded by friends, gold-diggers, and miscreants of every conceivable variety, you raised a glass and shouted, “Let the debauchery begin!” And so it did.

Over the next nine years, you engaged in every vice known to eighteenth century aristocrats. The details might be too disturbing for some of our readers, so let’s just say you had a very good time. Such a good time, in fact, that your fortune ran out before you hit thirty.

The years that followed were dark and lonely. Your “friends” deserted you. You were forced to wear unfashionable attire. You struggled with a terrible snuff addiction that you could no longer afford. Your ancestral home, once filled with servants and toadies, was now empty but for you and a hundred feral cats.

The very worst part? You knew you deserved the misfortune that had befallen you.

We all have lessons we need to learn. Most of us require several visits to earth before we manage to learn them. You, however, needed less than half a lifetime.

One day you woke up with a smile on your face and a million ideas bouncing around in your head. You opened your estate’s orchards to the hungry people who lived in the countryside. You let them plant vegetables in the rich soil of your gardens. You invited an old woman whose house had burned to move into your mother’s old chambers. And you began to take care of the cats that had long kept you company.

Perhaps the cats decided to repay your kindness. One afternoon, you were sitting in your father’s old study when a tabby climbed on your lap. Before you could pet her, she jumped up onto the fireplace mantle, knocking a hideous vase to the floor. (A vase so hideous that it was one of the few possessions you’d never been able to sell.)

What you discovered among the porcelain shards could have financed decades of debauchery. But there was no going back. You had already learned your lesson.

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3 Responses to “You Were: The Libertine”

  1. Jennifer Says:

    I know this reference is probably too old for anyone here, but I’m reminded of Bad Dennis Brady in the book “I’ll Take Manhattan…” only this guy learned his lesson better than Bad Dennis!

  2. Travis Says:

    I love this! It’s kind of ironic because I’m allergic to cats now.


  3. Amazing. Each one of these is so good! Travis, I’m into your story.


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